Posts tagged with ‘valentine's day’ include the following:
Here. Here. Here are some rejected Harry Potter Valentines I made today.
These have been tested and do not work.
The rest of my valentines are here.
My friend Colie is a model for playboy and I sometimes spend hours reading the comments she gets on her fan page and instagram.
If you’re not sure how to win your crush over this V-day, let these 21st century poets lend you their silken words.
(I do think I’m going to start using DWAMN sincerely.)
I like this one because she’s got such a lovely pervy expression on.
It looks like she’s taking cues from Byron.
Anyway, there are more here
And they’re buy-able here, if you’re into SUPPORTING ARTISTS.
Here’s the Louis CK one alone because I like his pickup line so much.
It’s from the impassioned, deferent, sincere speech he delivers to a woman in a bookstore on his show.
(The rest are here.)
Hey NERDS, this year’s Portrait Valentines are done! Print them out and eat them.
If you’d like to support me buy them here! Or come to my recitals once in a while. It wouldn’t kill you.
I like to imagine Dali’s mustache worked like dogs’ ears and erections—it just sprang up like that when he was excited about something.
More to come!
I could have linked to the UrbanDictionary page for “stranger” but I didn’t.
High School Lit Valentines.
You can buy them here.
These weren’t for sale in time last year but now they are!
Are you the Chamber of Secrets? Because I’d probably need to use my tongue skillfully to get inside you.
Am I the Whomping Willow? Because when you get near me I flail around and endanger lives.
Are you Peter Pettigrew? Because if I found out you’d been living in my room my whole life I’d get over it pretty quickly.
Are you the flying Ford Anglia? Because even if you’d been living in the woods for months I’d still want to get inside you.
Are you a portkey? Because when we touch I feel transported. And then a bit sick.
Are you the Elder Wand? Because I feel like if I kill your boyfriend you’ll end up with me.
Are you Hogwarts? Because your inner workings confuse the shit out of me.
Are you a Boggart? Because when I look at you, I think of commitment.
Are you Hermione Granger? Because I think about you sexually a lot.