Posts tagged with ‘masculism’ include the following:

Was reading a YouTube comment gender debate—because I never want to be happy—when this happened.These two were in a run-of-the-mill personal suffering pissing contest until something abruptly flipped and the dumb guy and the dumb girl both suddenly, angrily, started to prove each other’s points and didn’t realize that they weren’t fighting anymore.

Was reading a YouTube comment gender debate—because I never want to be happy—when this happened.

These two were in a run-of-the-mill personal suffering pissing contest until something abruptly flipped and the dumb guy and the dumb girl both suddenly, angrily, started to prove each other’s points and didn’t realize that they weren’t fighting anymore.

Here’s why these posts always end in people being offended:

The cultural conversation about gender roles/gender issues is dominated by feminism. This can’t be disputed.

This is fine, because women had it much worse for much longer. If it weren’t for the feminist movement, the world wouldn’t even be starting to think about men’s issues.

Because what got us into thinking about things like body image issues and gender roles was the initial impetuses (impeti? no.), namely:

  • women not being allowed to vote
  • or wear pants
  • or own property
  • or do basically anything.

The movement started because a bunch of smart women realized that it didn’t have to be that way, they were sick of that shit, and they stood up for themselves.

In doing so they threw a wrench in the gears of the old and outdated machine called patriarchy, which began to clunk and shudder and start malfunctioning. All of a sudden, we started realizing there are scores of underlying issues beneath the surface. Things like unrealistic and suffocating beauty standards. Things like the virgin/whore dichotomy. Things like restrictive gender-performance requirements that actually don’t accommodate three dimensional human beings. And jesus christ we let it leak into television and movies that we show kids this is a fucking disaster we need to fix this.

A lot of these nuanced issues, however, affect both men and women.

But they are primarily discussed in a feminist context, as they apply to women.

So whenever I bring them up, there’s sort of an implied “also.”

(Which shouldn’t be necessary, but what the hell, it doesn’t hurt anyone.)

And invariably

without fail

EVERY time I bring up an issue that is mostly discussed in a feminist context and I talk about how it applies to males

someone comes in with YEAH BUT ALSO WOMEN. DON’T YOU FORGET IT.

That’s how every one of these arguments online starts. Because then I get defensive and resentful of the fact that my “yes women but also men” is being responded to with “but also women.” It’s not a tug-o-war. Discussing problems men and boys face does not exclude women and girls from the equation, so please don’t exclude men and boys from the equation.

[begin example:]

Young boys are under immense pressure to demonstrate and perform hetero rituals in order to avoid hazing.

"Yeah well young girls feel pressured to be skinny and have eating disorders because of it."

Yes, I know. This isn’t a game of tennis. I feel very strongly about taking down the monolithic industry built upon selling young girls an impossible goal and products to help them mimic it.

But that’s not what I’m talking about right now. And there are thousands of other people talking about that right now. But the nightmare that middle school boys face in the locker room is not being talked about nearly as much, so please let me do that without interrupting and derailing with stats about how they’ll grow up to make more money than their female counterparts in the same miserable soul-crushing cubicle jobs.

Because right now, they’re middle schoolers, and they shouldn’t be miserable in places (such as schools) where they’re supposed to feel safe.

[end example.]