If you don’t like the choices a woman makes about whom she sleeps with and when, you are more than welcome not to sleep with her. But to continue to judge single women for having the audacity to sleep with who they want to—something that single men are generally congratulated for—is to perpetuate an antagonistic dynamic between the sexes that has seen its day.

This is a great little article. I only take issue with the last bit:

If the ethical argument is lost on you here, think of it this way, guys: does it really benefit you to make women feel hesitant to express their sexuality?

That’s the beginning of a slippery slope; using feminism as a device for manipulating women into having sex. While I wholeheartedly believe women should not feel obligated to remain chaste because of society’s expectations, I believe just as strongly that they shouldn’t feel obligated to have promiscuous sex because society is going to call them repressed or a bad feminist if they don’t.

Guys, think about the pressure that’s put upon you to have sex. Think about the fact that when directed at us, virgin is a slur. The less you fuck, the less masculine, the less powerful they think you are. If we push it too hard, we’ll stick women in the same place.

I definitely encourage you to push for the sexual liberation of women, but tread carefully, because this isn’t about the sex—it’s about the women.

just-smith:

Never considered the sexual side before, but now you mention it… how come men are expected to do all of the work? If a man can’t get aroused, that’s his fault and he’s less of a man. If a woman can’t get aroused, that’s the man’s fault for being less of a man. But thinking about that, men always face the higher expectations - chivalry is just the tip of the iceberg, which includes the things mentioned in this article - but that’s just the cost of a ‘dominant’ role, which I’m told is a good thing to have been forced into.

I’ll preemptively quash the inevitable wave of “WOMEN FACE THIS STUFF TOO HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A BILLBOARD” backlash by pointing out the obvious: that

YES. Nearly everyone here knows about and talks about these problems as they apply to women. Oppression isn’t exclusive, it’s not a commodity that groups should defend and stake claim over. Saying that men face problems doesn’t nullify or exclude women’s problems.

For once, articles are popping up that discuss these issues in the context of masculinity. If you can’t get on board with that, well that’s pretty revealing.

Black people commit more crime than white people because of a societal disadvantage that places them into poorer, more segregated neighborhoods. Black people have been marginalized in this country for as long as they’ve lived here. Do not compare the difference between Black and white people to the difference between men and women.

That’s all completely true. But that doesn’t mean a parallel can’t be drawn. You made the argument that crime statistics stand for themselves, as evidence that a group of people just “commit more fucking crime.”

My argument is that it’s never that “fucking” simple, and it’s reductive and prejudiced to claim that it is.

Women have more eating disorders than men because of a culture that emphasizes extreme thinness for women. Just look at any magazine, television show, movie, or billboard.

But I do not see how our society encourages men to commit more crime and rape. Sorry, but I just don’t.

Really? Really. You don’t know of any culture that emphasizes and glorifies virility, dominance, and violence in men? A culture that tells men that the more they fuck, the more money they have, the more power they have, the more manly they are? That if they let someone get away with something, they lose, they’re a pussy, they’re a wimp?

Let that sit for a while.

(via brute-reason)