Harry Potter pickup lines that have not worked for me

Are you the Chamber of Secrets? Because I’d probably need to use my tongue skillfully to get inside you.

Am I the Whomping Willow? Because when you get near me I flail around and endanger lives.

Are you Peter Pettigrew? Because if I found out you’d been living in my room my whole life I’d get over it pretty quickly.

Are you the flying Ford Anglia? Because even if you’d been living in the woods for months I’d still want to get inside you.

Are you a portkey? Because when we touch I feel transported. And then a bit sick.

Are you the Elder Wand? Because I feel like if I kill your boyfriend you’ll end up with me.

Are you Hogwarts? Because your inner workings confuse the shit out of me.

Are you a Boggart? Because when I look at you, I think of commitment.

Are you Hermione Granger? Because I think about you sexually a lot.

14 February, 2013
255 notes
The editorial staff at CollegeHumor is all about this song this week. And last week.

The editorial staff at CollegeHumor is all about this song this week. And last week.

5 June, 2012
31 notes Source: benkling
I’ve been supporting invisible children since I was like eleven.

I’ve been supporting invisible children since I was like eleven.

7 March, 2012
205 notes
Here’s another song of mine about love. Well, it’s about me stalking Emma Watson, but love means different things to everyone, right? Download it for freeee at my Bandcamp page.

Here’s another song of mine about love. Well, it’s about me stalking Emma Watson, but love means different things to everyone, right?

Download it for freeee at my Bandcamp page.

14 February, 2012
15 notes
27 December, 2011
55 notes
Somebody put my Harry Potter essay on Mugglenet

(Link to the original post)

Flattering and unnerving.
26 December, 2011
10 notes
Coming this winter. Straight to DVD.

Coming this winter. Straight to DVD.

(via benkling)

20 December, 2011
47 notes Source: benkling
Hey. Sounds like the gospel of someone else. Many of you have probably heard of the Gnostic work known as the Gospel of Judas. This ancient document, although far from inspired or canonical, nevertheless portrays a point of view that has been in existence for many centuries. It is the view that in the days prior to His crucifixion, Jesus took Judas Iscariot aside and requested that he betray Him into the hands of the Jewish leaders. In other words, Judas did not perform this act on his own initiative; he was following the orders of Jesus Himself. In this document, Judas is portrayed as Jesus’ closest friend, the one to whom our Lord confided all His deepest secrets. Jesus warned Judas that in carrying out His request he would be vilified by all men. Nevertheless, the Lord asked Judas to make this sacrifice, and in so doing he would be exalted in the spirit realm. So he asks Judas, who is his friend, to sell him out; to betray him.” 

Hey. Sounds like the gospel of someone else.

Many of you have probably heard of the Gnostic work known as the Gospel of Judas. This ancient document, although far from inspired or canonical, nevertheless portrays a point of view that has been in existence for many centuries. It is the view that in the days prior to His crucifixion, Jesus took Judas Iscariot aside and requested that he betray Him into the hands of the Jewish leaders. In other words, Judas did not perform this act on his own initiative; he was following the orders of Jesus Himself.

In this document, Judas is portrayed as Jesus’ closest friend, the one to whom our Lord confided all His deepest secrets. Jesus warned Judas that in carrying out His request he would be vilified by all men. Nevertheless, the Lord asked Judas to make this sacrifice, and in so doing he would be exalted in the spirit realm. So he asks Judas, who is his friend, to sell him out; to betray him.” 

5 December, 2011
13 notes
13 November, 2011
14 notes

Snape you’re just a glorified Home-Ec teacher.

Brew glory my ass.

2 November, 2011
11 notes