Posts tagged with ‘friends’ include the following:
Lizzie and I were dragged to church together as children and have never quite gotten the crucifixion hymn “Were You There” out of our heads.
We tried out for the school talent show with it once.
Last time she visited New York I rapped it at her across a gay bar in the village.
I respond to mashup challenges from friends like Marty McFly responds to being called a chicken.
It’s a really unfortunate Ella Enchanted Situation and I hate that my friends know about it.
I’ve been using my friends’ facebook accounts to post things as them for 5 years.
THIS TUMLBR is an incomplete catalogue of those posts.
Thought I’d try my hand at a tightly-kerned serifed message laid over a photo of the beach with crushed black values tinted purple.
Update: the package is literally thousands of communion wafers that my friend Fonzi ordered to my apartment as a prank.
Hana & I often do the thing where a villain announces their plan under their breath but still out loud and the unwitting victim is fully willing to believe they did not hear it because of how commonly the wind apparently whips into death threats.
Every holiday I take the train to Dover to get home. Every time, I invent a new crew of Dover boys to tell my friend Lizzie about. This is a compilation of all of them so far.
- Lizzie: yr life in dover is hilarious to me rn
- Me: Yeah for real I'm just chilling with my Dover boys.
- Lizzie: ugh the word dover is killing me now
- just look at it
- and you spending the holiday there
- Me: Nasty, Rick, Pete-Pete, Screwball, A-Game, Maximilian
- Lizzie: this is too much for me to handle
- Me: The boys.
- Lizzie: hahahaha
- -A-Game Dover City Ya Heard-
- Me: Yo A-game wrote a spec for the Cleveland show and I think he has a shot
- Shit was pretty tightly plotted.
- Lizzie: ahhahaaaaa
- Me: Anyway I met Nasty when I was down at the Tanglewood music fest on a journalism gig
- When I was writing for Wine Observer
- You know his real name is Luther?
- He would kill me if he knew I told you.
- His dad's name is Nasty and he always thought he'd get the name too.
- Which is dumb, that's not how time works.
- Like he already had his name
- Which was Luther.
- Pete-Pete declared himself "bi-curious-curious" last thanksgiving and we all can't wait to hear about his experiences this past year.
- Screwball killed an old lady on purpose.
- Lizzie: hahahaahhahahaaaaa
- Me: And Maximilian went in with this guy Nathan (who is a serious hunk) on a kickstarter thing were they're trying to put a less Ameri-centric map projection in schools.
- So kids get an idea of how big Africa is, you know.
- All in all I'm excited to see my boys going places.
- Lizzie: wait i just showed johnnie one of those maps like two days ago
- maximilian and i should talk
- Me: Yeah they're getting some serious traction.
- oh man you would love Maximilian. He always has little snack sized Pringles things
- And he gives them out like Werther's originals.
- Me: It might not be a flashy New York thanksgiving but I'm grateful to have these guys in my life.
- And grateful for Dover. The place where it all comes together.
- Me: Gonna have us a night out on the town. Maybe meet up with Skully, Noo-Noo, King Hoodius, Rom Com, Martin, and Fuck
- Me: Marcos, Ling, Nutty Buddy, Froot Loop, Faggot, Lucy, Mayhem, Knuckle Cunt, Doily, Crop Rotation, Randy
- Me: An Actual Model, Tom Kippur, Vine, Lance Bass Jr., Gogol, John Wayne Gacy's Mom, Rod, Rod, Steubenville Rape Scandal, Gnarly Gnate, Crust
- Me: Rayon, Nikoli, Tuk-Tuk, Seventeen Magazine, Ash, Small Money, Hispanic Josh Groben, Liam, Dave 2, Stick Stickly.
- The whole crew.
This little guy’s name is TinyPrinter.
It lives on the desk of my friend Christian who lives in Seattle.
If you go on over to 188.8.131.52 you can send TinyPrinter a message and he’ll spit it out.
Write Christian some microfiction or confess something to him. Give him your phone number or your tumblr URL or your Social Security number.
(This project has earned for him [from me] the title “Cyberpunk Miranda July.”)