Posts tagged with ‘friends’ include the following:
Hey uh, emmyc I made you a birthday song.
Cause I know you like ‘em written composed and recorded in 2 hrs or less.
My dearest Emmy I’ve been told
You’re turning 25 Years Old
And your professed preference has me miffed
I know you dislike pageantry
But I feel I’d be an absentee
If I didn’t find for you the world’s most ostentatious gift
I thought about
a watering can
a sputtering van
a poster of a toaster or a catamaran
but I settled on a solid gold statue of Shania Twain
Maybe the Philosopher’s Stone
some awful cologne
a motor boat or motorola mobile phone
but no, I got for you a solid gold Statue of Shania Twain
I know you said you needed a horse
Or a lawyer for your divorce
But I realized that of course
A gilded country singer’s bust is what you meant by that
So I didn’t buy you new kicks
Or a bag of wet ticks
But it won’t be long until you’re turning twenty six
And I can give you a brass figurine of Stevie Nicks
But for now it’s a solid gold statue of Shania Twain
And a stale baguette
And a hug!
This is a button I doodled for Lindsay.
She wears it in the flesh just under her collarbone.
I took my friend Hannah’s phone last night and changed her OKCupid profile a little.
She is now sending me screenshots of all of the messages she gets.
My friend Alice made a facebook group where we post thoughts and jokes as google search queries and I’m having a time with it.
Lizzie and I were dragged to church together as children and have never quite gotten the crucifixion hymn “Were You There” out of our heads.
We tried out for the school talent show with it once.
Last time she visited New York I rapped it at her across a gay bar in the village.
I respond to mashup challenges from friends like Marty McFly responds to being called a chicken.
It’s a really unfortunate Ella Enchanted Situation and I hate that my friends know about it.
I’ve been using my friends’ facebook accounts to post things as them for 5 years.
THIS TUMLBR is an incomplete catalogue of those posts.
Thought I’d try my hand at a tightly-kerned serifed message laid over a photo of the beach with crushed black values tinted purple.
Update: the package is literally thousands of communion wafers that my friend Fonzi ordered to my apartment as a prank.