How To Vote

As many of you doubtless learned today, tomorrow is Election Day in the United States!

Some of you, however, might not know where to vote or how, so here’s the procedure:

  • Google “where do I vote?” Google will ask for your zip code and will then forward you to a page featuring the location of a nearby polling center.
  • DO NOT travel to this location. This is a trap.
  • Think hard, try to remember—is there a location you keep dreaming about? A place that seems embedded, like a childhood memory, in the yawning fissures of the deepest reaches of your nighttime thoughts? It is real, I promise you. And it’s there you must go to vote. But not yet.
  • Go to the Anderson House. Old Man Anderson will answer the door and before he gives you any trouble, show him the locket your grandmother gave you. He’ll ask you where you got it, then get irritable and say he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. He’ll then slam the door in your face.
  • Call after him “Is this about what happened to Eliza? Your sister? Why did she disappear, those many years ago?” or “I want to vote.” Either one will do.
  • He will appear again behind the dusty, rusty screen of the door and reluctantly let you in.
  • Follow his instructions. Heed his advice. But don’t trust him completely.
  • Get to the Old Willow Tree before sunset—this is PARAMOUNT. Also, bring a valid photo ID and proof of residence.
  • Do you still have the locket?
  • You’ve realized you don’t. Old Man Anderson must have taken it.
  • You need to find out what happened to Eliza. You need to talk to her ghost.
  • Later, when you face Old Man Anderson, tell him what she said. Tell him she forgives him.
  • He will break down and cry. Then he will give you the locket back.
  • Go back to the Old Willow Tree. Hurry, the sun has almost set. Again, bring a photo ID and a proof of residence.
  • Yell the name of the candidate you mean to vote for into the old, knotty hole in its trunk. Also, throw the locket in.
  • As the blinding light and rush of air erupting from the tree whips through your hair, remember to digitally sign your ballot.
  • Go back to the Anderson House. It’s empty, isn’t it? Looks like it hasn’t been lived in in years. Look at the photo on the desk. A young Old Man Anderson has joined his sister in the photo in front of the Old Willow Tree.
  • Complete an exit poll, if you so choose.

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    for a second I thought they were going to tell me to go to Silent Hill because in my restless dreams i see that town