America’s longest married couple
Little Old Man dance for Loop de Loop (it was too long to fit in one so I split it up)
So into this.
Also, definitely the best option for background music is this.
Anonymous: some poetry advice... don't italicize words for emphasis: create emphasis. and don't go overboard (lol titantic joke) on the namedropping. it's unflattering.
Oh my god I’m glad someone realized that the ~poem~ I ended with “I am legit just trying to buy a Yankee Candle” was meant to be treated very seriously and that the mention of John Jacob Astor wasn’t a deliberately awkward and prosaic jab of specificity meant to conflict tonally with the rest of the stanza as a prelude to the punchline, but was in fact the result of an egregious lapse in judgment and poetic taste marring what would otherwise be a legitimate work of art.
Tell me, how do bedsheet ghosts react on Halloween when you tell them they should really be translucent and that nobody’s buying it?
when a store has its open sign up
and the lights are on
and the employees are milling about
it makes sense to try the door a few times
because sometimes doors stick
so would you kindly stop staring at me
as if I am an army of undead
trying to break down the door and feast
or an absentee father on Christmas Eve
desperate for the plastic robot that will win back his son’s love
or a mob of doomed faithless
pleading tearfully at the door of the Ark
as the thunder of an unforgiving god drowns out their voices
or a wretched aristocrat with one leg over the deck of the sinking Titanic
let’s say John Jacob Astor IV
explaining unctuously his wife’s ‘delicate condition’
as the final lifeboat is lowered into the inky sea
I am legit just trying to buy a Yankee Candle
If you have strong opinions on people who have strong opinions on people who call Frankenstein’s Monster “Frankenstein” you are as bad as anyone involved in your sordid little triangle.
An extraordinary number of YouTube uploaders have renounced all earthly possessions in pursuit of monasticism.
Alright I had to fix something but here, deal with this tiny little S Club 7 mashup.
There’s something really poetic about a snapchat of a sunset—ephemera tucked inside ephemera, the form paying reverent tribute to the transience of the subject; the snapchat is the sunset of the digital universe; blink and you’ve missed it; ugh I just sat on my genitals a little ow jesus that hurt.
Here’s a clipping from a Live set.
Don’t care if this kind of music ain’t your bag, stick with it until the drop.
I ripped audio from a VHS just to get that speech sample so you’d better enjoy it.
why was six afraid of seven?
cause gwyneth paltrow gets her head cut off and there’s that guy who dies of eating!
it’s a scary ass movie!