it

is

my

birthday

Hey guys! This is an animated excerpt from my 100-artist mashup album.

Give it a watch/listen and download the whole thing if you want!

emmyc sent me a Chocomize gift card because I like chocolate now and was sad, and she’s an A1 friend.

And also because you get to name the bars you create.

General, the reports are in: the rubber horse mask! It isn’t funny anymore!

(General, facing the wall, clasps his wrist and hand behind his back)

"Destroy them."

General?

(General turns around, is wearing horse mask)

"Destroy the reports."

I just found the first feature-length screenplay I ever wrote, which was basically a re-write of “Patience, or Bunthorne’s Bride” by Gilbert and Sullivan, except instead of the Aesthetic movement in the 1890’s it’s about early millennial hipsters in New York and a guy who tries faking it at performance art and slam poetry.

It’s kind of trite (and full of typos) and reads a bit like a YA novel but it’s also really cute and I’m having a lot of fun reading all the 18-year-old Ben jokes.

Here are some screenshots.

monopuff, it’s Surfer’s Stomp by the Mar-Kets with some drums added by me.
You may recognize it because Relient K aped it in their cover of Sleigh Ride.

monopuff, it’s Surfer’s Stomp by the Mar-Kets with some drums added by me.

You may recognize it because Relient K aped it in their cover of Sleigh Ride.

I made this to post as a comment on my friend’s status

I snapped most of the Met yesterday.

I snapped most of the Met yesterday.

Hey uh, emmyc I made you a birthday song.

This afternoon.

Cause I know you like ‘em written composed and recorded in 2 hrs or less.

Lyrics:

My dearest Emmy I’ve been told

You’re turning 25 Years Old

And your professed preference has me miffed

I know you dislike pageantry

But I feel I’d be an absentee

If I didn’t find for you the world’s most ostentatious gift

I thought about

a watering can

a sputtering van

a poster of a toaster or a catamaran

but I settled on a solid gold statue of Shania Twain

Maybe the Philosopher’s Stone

some awful cologne

a motor boat or motorola mobile phone

but no, I got for you a solid gold Statue of Shania Twain

I know you said you needed a horse

Or a lawyer for your divorce

But I realized that of course

A gilded country singer’s bust is what you meant by that

So I didn’t buy you new kicks

Or a bag of wet ticks

But it won’t be long until you’re turning twenty six

And I can give you a brass figurine of Stevie Nicks

But for now it’s a solid gold statue of Shania Twain

And a stale baguette

And a hug!

Isn’t it kind of disturbing when people use the term “sick” to describe something they’re disgusted by?
Like “this man is sick and I hope he rots in jail.”
Nah, that’s not what you hope for sick people.
Use a different metaphor for your hateful thoughts.