emmyc sent me a Chocomize gift card because I like chocolate now and was sad, and she’s an A1 friend.
And also because you get to name the bars you create.
General, the reports are in: the rubber horse mask! It isn’t funny anymore!
(General, facing the wall, clasps his wrist and hand behind his back)
(General turns around, is wearing horse mask)
"Destroy the reports."
I just found the first feature-length screenplay I ever wrote, which was basically a re-write of “Patience, or Bunthorne’s Bride” by Gilbert and Sullivan, except instead of the Aesthetic movement in the 1890’s it’s about early millennial hipsters in New York and a guy who tries faking it at performance art and slam poetry.
It’s kind of trite (and full of typos) and reads a bit like a YA novel but it’s also really cute and I’m having a lot of fun reading all the 18-year-old Ben jokes.
Here are some screenshots.
You may recognize it because Relient K aped it in their cover of Sleigh Ride.
I made this to post as a comment on my friend’s status
Hey uh, emmyc I made you a birthday song.
Cause I know you like ‘em written composed and recorded in 2 hrs or less.
My dearest Emmy I’ve been told
You’re turning 25 Years Old
And your professed preference has me miffed
I know you dislike pageantry
But I feel I’d be an absentee
If I didn’t find for you the world’s most ostentatious gift
I thought about
a watering can
a sputtering van
a poster of a toaster or a catamaran
but I settled on a solid gold statue of Shania Twain
Maybe the Philosopher’s Stone
some awful cologne
a motor boat or motorola mobile phone
but no, I got for you a solid gold Statue of Shania Twain
I know you said you needed a horse
Or a lawyer for your divorce
But I realized that of course
A gilded country singer’s bust is what you meant by that
So I didn’t buy you new kicks
Or a bag of wet ticks
But it won’t be long until you’re turning twenty six
And I can give you a brass figurine of Stevie Nicks
But for now it’s a solid gold statue of Shania Twain
And a stale baguette
And a hug!
Isn’t it kind of disturbing when people use the term “sick” to describe something they’re disgusted by?
Like “this man is sick and I hope he rots in jail.”
Nah, that’s not what you hope for sick people.
Use a different metaphor for your hateful thoughts.