Spent too much money on this dinky little thing but I’m very pleased with it.

Spent too much money on this dinky little thing but I’m very pleased with it.

I would like to someday be the first white president, no matter how impossible a dream that seems.

Losing followers across all platforms today.

Losing followers across all platforms today.

postcoitaldreams: You're very sexy ;)


thanks

A new interpretation of the old testament suggests that Lot’s wife was turned into a pillar of salt after beginning a sentence “But now, with the power of social media”

Hey! I’m doing a set at Sarah Lawrence tonight, so if you want to support me, apply and get accepted to Sarah Lawrence and then cancel your Thursday night plans.

Hey Carl Sagan what do you think about Adrian Grenier’s eyes?

Hey Carl Sagan what do you think of this little guy

It’s a common misconception that flatus, the gas produced by bacterial fermentation in the colon, is simply methane. Flatus is so much more than that. It contains oxygen, nitrogen, hydrogen—that simplest and most plentiful of molecules in the cosmos, and carbon—the molecule of life.

These elements were forged in the crucible of the big bang. They comprise the galaxies up at which we gaze with wonder and the lenses through which we gaze—the air we breathe. Each time we expel flatus, we’re releasing these elements back into the vastness from which they were gathered over the course of billions of years.

We are, all of us, made of fart stuff.

What if we are visited by aliens and instead of being transcendent light beams or something cool and modern they’re just green guys with Q*bert noses named like “Bleeborp” and they speak “Floob” and their planet is called “Zylon X.”

What a boring day for humanity that would be.