Got my hair cut by a stylist for the first time today. He asked me if I could name a celebrity I wanted to look like. I told him.
Thanks for reminding me about the best thing I’ve ever done.
Idea: Reverse Jeopardy. They give you a question in question form and you have to answer in the form of an answer.
When you die, you get a sheet of paper.
It’s not a form, it’s not an invitation or directions to heaven. In point of fact, it’s entirely blank.
When you die, you get a blank sheet of paper and a pen.
What else you get is not much. You get space. Infinite, unyielding, tar black space. Technically it’s open but you might as well be in a room. You can’t really see anything but the paper and the pen, which are plenty visible.
You have a body, sort of. You don’t need to eat anymore or to run your fingers through your hair. You don’t need to stretch your lips and feel them crack when they are chapped. You don’t need lips at all. You can’t even really see your body in the absence of a mirror, but you know it has to be there, like your ears when you can’t see them, because the job gets done.
When you die, you get a sheet of blank paper, a pen, and hands to write with.
And that’s all. That and time.
You sit for a long while—two days maybe—thinking about the time. It feels like two days, anyway, and that feels very long to you. You know you’re dead—you remember the tree trunk, or the oncoming car, or the sudden, sharp pain in your left arm and chest. So you sit and you think—what next? Is this a test?
Hahahahahahahahhaha I just found this in my GarageBand archives from freshman year.
On a 2010 nostalgia kick today.
Me, by wittybones
- "Ron you’re weird!"
- "Ha ha ha, what?"
- "I’ve got a mustache! Hahahahahahaha!"
- "History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce."
- "Mom it really hurts. I don’t want to wear this dress mom it’s too tight."
- "Thaaaaaa’ts showbusiness!"
- "No soup for you!"
- "Mom I don’t want to look sexy, I want to look pretty."
- "I am Ferris Bueller and This is My Day Off."
- "I’ll have what RON BURGUNDY is having!"
- "Mom! This isn’t about you! Stop projecting your insecurities onto me! You’re an adult! You should be beyond this!"
Buzzfeed has stopped replying to me.
What a year, jesus. I’ve hardly been on tumblr at all. What’s going on? Are y’all stll there? Everyone still on about Shrek?